Home for Sale

As of today, I am trying to sell my house in Shreveport, Louisiana. When Aquarius and I moved up here a year and a half ago, we decided to rent out our charming, eighty-year old, historic home because of the developing real-estate and financial crisis. It was not the time to sell, and with the expenses of the move, we could not afford to let our house sit on the market for months. The huge hike in housing prices moving to Maryland was a giant shock, and the idea of having to pay a mortgage, on top of a rent nearly twice as much, was terrifying. For perspective, our monthly mortgage in Shreveport is just under $800 (including taxes and insurance) for a 1,500 square foot house, and our monthly rent in Silver Spring is more than twice that for an 800 square foot condo. In December, we may be paying both.

I thought we had stumbled upon the best renters in the world, or at least that they had stumbled upon us. We had a lease signed within 48 hours of staking a “For Rent” sign in the yard. The couple we decided upon, for there were many applicants, were Katrina exiles who were so eager to live in our house that they offered us more than we were asking. Maybe the pier and beam foundation set up on a hill seemed to offer a little extra flood protection. After looking into them, we were elated that they could easily afford it together as they were both gainfully employed. The guy bragged about being a handyman and talked endlessly about loving to do yard work and his skill at fixing any minor problem that could easily arise in such an old house. This couple was an easy pick over the group of girls who worked at Hooters and saw the inequality of bedroom sizes as the biggest renting obstacle.

My mother, a very traditional Cancer, had some reservations about this couple moving in together but not being married. I assured her that this is the 21st century and that love knows no legal bounds. My Piscean optimism may have lead me astray. Who pays the rent when the move-in honeymoon is over and there is no legal commitment in the relationship? Possibly me. Luckily, we had smooth sailing up until this week. The rent was paid every month on time and there were no major repairs. That got us through my finding a job and Aquarius getting a raise. In the spirit of the recent holiday, I am thankful, but I may not be buying many presents for the upcoming holiday.

So, what happened? Well, it’s a lot of he-said she-said. As with most lovers’ quarrels, the details seem a little fuzzy when emotions get in the way. Here is what I gathered: she claims he has a mental illness, he is a convicted felon, he lied about this on the lease which is grounds for removal from the lease, she used her position of employment at a bank to clean out his account which may be a felony, and of course she lost said position of employment due to these actions. What happens now? The guy with the criminal record who was faithfully paying rent gets cleared of any financial responsibility, and the woman without a job claims that she will continue paying the high rent to which she and her boyfriend agreed. As for us, we stake a “For Sale” sign in the yard. I am done with being a landlord.