Aquarius and Housework

I have finally finished grading semester exams for three classes, semester research papers for one class, and semester projects for another! My reward: nearly a month of winter vacation. My school has very long breaks for which I am grateful, but last summer I almost got bored. That was when I started planning this blog.

One bonus of being off is that I will not have to resort to asking Aquarius for help around the house. Sometimes during the school year this becomes a necessity due to the long hours I spend prepping five different subjects. Unfortunately, it does not always go well. The man may be brilliant when it comes to anything with an IP address, and he is even excellent in the kitchen, but his domesticity stops there. When housework is involved, he suddenly becomes mentally handicapped. Here are a few examples. (Apparently, I am liking lists lately.)

1. Laundry. I asked him to wash some jeans. He successfully sorted through the laundry hamper to identify anything that fell into said category. He managed to wash them on the proper setting, and a few hours later, after I reminded him that they were still wet, he even put them in the dryer. When I took them out to fold, a pair of my jeans was missing. They were not in the washing machine, or the dryer, or the laundry hamper or on the floor anywhere in-between. The next day, I found them behind the washing machine. He still claims he has no idea how that could have happened.

2. Soap. We moved here with three giant, un-opened bottles of refill hand soap for the kitchen and bath. It seems that every time Aquarius went to Target, he was convinced that hand washing was about to come to an end unless he bought more soap. For a long time, the cabinet under my sink was a soap storage space. It’s been two years since I last needed to buy any.

3. Vacuuming. He claims that this is the one thing he doesn’t mind doing, yet my request once evoked a quick glance downward and the response, “The carpet doesn’t look dirty.” I promised him that if he would just vacuum anyway, he would suck up enough cat hair to make a small doggie sweater. I think he was amazed at what the carpet can hold while still “looking” clean.

4. Dishwashing. I have, on occasion, found the silverware drawer empty. This seems strange because 16 place settings should be plenty for only two people. When I asked for an explanation, I learned that Aquarius does not like putting away silverware; so he doesn’t. He only takes all of the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and adds the dirty dishes to the clean silverware which gets rewashed. If I ask him to do the dishes more than once in a row, this adds up.

How is it that someone smart enough to get into Mensa can be such a bumbling idiot when it comes to the simple things? The list was a wonderful invention that assures you only get what you need at the store. I don’t like folding laundry, but I don’t just keep on washing it to procrastinate putting it away. Housework is not something I have enjoyed in the past, but I think it is growing on me. After seeing something done completely wrong, there is a certain satisfaction in doing it efficiently yourself.