Christmas in the Deep South Days 3-6: Family Ties & Ping-Pong

My time spent down South was completely soul crushing. I was sapped of all creative forces and completely failed at blogging my holiday experience as planned. Thus, I am going to report to you over the next few days an after-the-fact account. I should add that I was highly disappointed in myself during this “vacation.” I had grandiose plans to blog everyday, work on a short story, and read three books. Instead, I slept in and sat around staring at family members under the pretense of spending time together.

This was our first Christmas back home since our big move, and Aquarius and I decided that we would absolutely not split days. Before we became out-of-towners, we would split every holiday straight down the middle. The morning and lunch would go to one set of parents, and the late afternoon, dinner and evening to the other. This was completely exhausting and sometimes even required driving around town to see extended family members in-between. We were not having any of that this year, and thus began the game of in-law ping-pong. Friday with my parents, Saturday with his. Sunday with my extended family, Monday with his. The result? The longest Christmas holiday ever. I already said that time moves slowly down there; well, it nearly came to a standstill trapping me on Christmas day for what seemed like eternity. I can’t even imagine what couples with divorced parents must go through. In retrospect, maybe the quick and dirty splitting of days was less painful. It allowed Christmas to end sooner and me to go on with my life.

Not only was this holiday prolonged beyond my limits, but I got a bit frustrated with my extended family situation. I came 1,200 miles and still only saw my cousins at the obligatory family gathering which had been arranged back in September to assure that no one would have scheduling conflicts. Amazingly, some people still didn’t show which leads me to believe that they wanted to be there just as badly as I did. This gathering was no different than if I had still been a local family member. Or rather, the frustration lies in the fact that when I was local, this and Thanksgiving would still have been the only time all year long that I saw some of these people. I used to live on the same street as one of my cousins and was never once invited over despite my attempts at friendship. What’s the point in seeing someone only twice a year? The parties involved are reduced to strangers who have nothing in common to discuss. The stretch between Christmas and Thanksgiving is so long that you must either give a complete re-hashing of your life for the past year or resort to banal conversation. My family chooses the latter. The polite discussion barely moved beyond, “How do y’all like it up there?” or, “So, you got some snow. Must’ve been cold.” I don’t understand the notion that families must get together on specific days designated as special by the calendar. If you want to hang out with me, call me up any day of the year and I will be happy to hear from you. I wonder if my family is weird or if lots of people remain strangers to their aunts, uncles, and cousins January through October.

From all this, I have concluded that we are not going back home next Christmas. It didn’t even feel like home anymore. My new policy is that the ball is on their side of the table. I made the long trek to Louisiana, and if anyone truly does want to spend time with me, they can come up here next time. That goes for blood relatives or old drinking buddies from my early 20’s. I would even be happy with someone coming to visit our nation’s capital and me just being a quick lunch between museums. But apart from my parents and in-laws, I doubt anyone will visit. Maybe family is overrated. The best holiday of 2009 was Thanksgiving with my former Louisiana friends who now reside on the East Coast. I think Christmas next year should also be spent with them. We may not get to pick our family, but we do get to pick our friends and mine will make for a great Christmas holiday.